It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
