Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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