Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
