Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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