The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
