Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize