Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You may now shotgun with the bride
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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