I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
