Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize