Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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