After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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