this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
