nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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