Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize