So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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