Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize