dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
