So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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