My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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