There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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