so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
