What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
