i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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