im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
