i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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