Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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