You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
