I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
