you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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