You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
