So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
