i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
