Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
