well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize