ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
