Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Found your dick twin last night
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
