can we get nightvision for the apartment?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
