I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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