I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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