You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
