The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
