Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
