Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
