i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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