Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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