Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
