he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
