she told me i tasted like america
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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