OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
