Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
