The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
