I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
