let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
