come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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