yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
