A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
