i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
