Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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