I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm at about main and main street
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
