i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
