I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
