Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
