Porn is love you can see.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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